Music: Funny Songs - Best Funny Songs

Funny Songs

Monty Python Songs with lyrics that make you cry with laughter. Also, some politically incorrect soccer team anthems!

Playlist

Funny Songs: Monty Python - Every Sperm is Sacred
Funny Song Lyrics

DAD:
There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.

You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

GIRL:
Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

MEN:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
WOMEN:
If a sperm is wasted,...
CHILDREN:
...God get quite irate.

PRIEST:
Every sperm is sacred.
BRIDE and GROOM:
Every sperm is good.
NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed...
CARDINALS:
...In your neighbourhood!

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's.
MOURNER #1:
Mine!
MOURNER #2:
And mine!
CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
HOLY STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

EVERYONE:
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaaate!

I really wish I could find a video of this song. The images of holy statues singing about sperms is too funny for words!

Funny Songs: Monty Python - Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Funny Song Lyrics

Actually, the funny thing about this song is the things they say at the beginning. I have heard the German version where they say "I am Catherine the Great!" and get the reaction "get lost" or something. You should really try to find this version.

Some things in life are bad 
They can really make you mad 
Other things just make you swear 
and curse 
When you're chewing on life's gristle 
Don't grumble, give a whistle 
And this'll help things turn
 out for the best... 
And... 

...always look on the bright side 
of life... 
(Whistle) 

Always look on the light side 
of life... 
(Whistle) 

If life seems jolly rotten 
There's something you've forgotten 
And that's to laugh and smile and 
dance and sing 
When you're feeling in the dumps 
Don't be silly chumps 
Just purse your lips and whistle 
- that's the thing. 
And...always look on the bright 
side of life... 
(Whistle) 

Come on. 

Always look on the right side 
of life... 
(Whistle) 

For life is quite absurd 
And death's the final word 
You must always face the curtain 
with a bow 
Forget about your sin - give the 
audience a grin 
Enjoy it - it's your last chance 
anyhow. 

So always look on the bright side 
of death...
(Whistle) 

a-Just before you draw your terminal breath...
(Whistle)

Life's a piece of shit, when you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true
You'll see its all a show, people laughin
 as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you

And...
Always look on the bright side 
of life... 
(Whistle) 

Always look on the right side 
of life... 

C'mon Brian, cheer up

Always look on the bright side 
of life... 

Always look on the bright side 
of life... 

Worse things happen at sea you know. 

I mean - what have you got to lose? 
You know, you come from nothing 
- you're going back to nothing. 
What have you lost? Nothing. 

Always look on the right side 
(I mean) of life...

what have you got to lose? 
You know, you come from nothing 
- you're going back to nothing. 
What have you lost?

Always (Nothing.) 
look on the right side of life...

Nothing will come from nothing 
ya know what they say?
Cheer up ya old bugga 
c'mon give us a grin!
There ya go, see!

Always look on the right side of life...
(Cheer up ya old bugga
 c'mon give us a grin! At same time)

There ya go, see!

Funny Songs: Soccer Team Anthems
Funny Song Lyrics

Go to the Soccer Songs page for some of the funniest and wackiest soccer song lyrics.

Hope you like the Funny Songs playlist!

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